The twinky is not enough!
by Little green
Summary: The GW staff plays in the latest james Bond!! I put into chapters and I'm finally going to continue this fic! R&R, and don't sue me if it's too stupid! I don't know what took over me!
1. The script still needs some adjustements...

Standard disclaimer : "Gundam Wing" isn't mine and never will be (though I wish it would !). I'm just borrowing for fun and I make no money with my insane musings.   
Anyway... Enjoy!

* * *

  


  


**_The twinky is not enough_**

A (pathetic) Gundam wing fanfiction   
**by Lil' green**

  
  


* * *

**Prologue : It seems the script still need some adjustments!**   
(Or : "Who the heck is gonna be James bond?!")

* * *

  


**The good guys******

**Trowa : Trowa Bond**   
**Quatre : Quattie the good James Bond girl**   
**Duo : Duo Penny**   
**Hilde : Q**   
**Zechs : Beebee #1**   
**Noin : Beebee #2**   
**Catherine : The chief**   
**Sally : The prime minister**

The bad guys

Treize : Evil Lord Treize   
Wufei : Wuffie the bad James Bond girl   
Heero : THE killer   
Relena : Moumoute, Treize's cat   
Dorothy : Treize's dwarf   
Une : Treize's mysterious killer/back rubber   
Dr J : The mad scientist   
Quatre's sisters : The ultimate weapon

* * *

  


_The setting is a small room where a short girl with a green shirt is typing on a PC. An alarm-clok rings, indicating that it's time for the staff-meeting. The GW boys, girls, clowns and self exploding perfect soldiers enter the room, looking either pissed (everybody.) or slightly annoyed (Duo and Quatre.)_

Quatre : "Uhm... are you the author of this fic?"

"Yeah, why?"

Quatre : "Well, we just received the scenarii, and there's a few things, not much, really, ... uh, a few things that need some fixing..."

Author : "...??"

Wufei : "Shut up Winner! I'll explain!! FIRST, you pathetic onna, I'm afraid you trade the scripts or something, because this not my role!"

Author : "Really? Lemme see... Uhhmmm... _Reads the pages with a puzzled look._ No! I don't see any mistake, this is your script Wufei."

Wufei : "I beg your pardon."

Author : Author : "THIS-IS-YOUR-SCRIPT."

Wufei : _Pulls out his sword and waves it menacingly in front of the author. _"... W... WHAT!!! There's no way in hell I'm gonna be the James Bond girl number two! What's that story! Read this! 'Wuffie, the wild and dangerous seducer, DEVOTED MIND, BODY AND SOUL TO THE EVIL LORD TREIZE'!!!!"

Duo : "Who wrote that, that sounds like some Barbara Cartland stuff!"

Author : "I wrote it. AND HE'S GONNA BE WUFFIE THE SEDUCER!! WHETHER HE WANTS IT OR NOT!!!"

Wufei : "SHUT UP ONNA!!"

Duo : "Shut up, shut up, shut up... Do you know any other words? Stop whining and look at my part! 'Duo Penny, the cheerful, talkative and eternally single secretary'!! _Give a sexy smile to Heero. _"At least I get to fall in love with Hee-chan..."

Author : "Fall in love with Heero?? Where did you see that?"

Duo : "Well, Duo Penny is in love with James bond, ne?"

Author : "But... Heero isn't gonna be James Bond! He's the evil and cold and undestructable killer who works for even more evil Lord Treize!! Ya know! The one that James Bond always kill in the end before the final scene with the villain and the James Bond girl!"

Duo : "WHAT!! And how comes that Heero isn't the hero!!!" sorry for the poor pun>

Author : "Well, because I don't like him. Besides, with such a frown... He was meant to be considered as a villain one day or another..."

Relena :_ Pops out from behind Zechs. _"Heeeeeerooo should be James Bond!!!!!!!! For once I agree with that filthy puddle of drool, Heero can't be the bad guy!!!"

Author : _Stucks out her tongue. _"Yes he is!"

Duo : "Thanks for the puddle of drool... Anyway, why do you care if Heero is James Bond or not? You're not even a James Bond girl!"

Relena : "I KNOW, THANKS!! That's also something that you'll have to change. The queen of the world DOES NOT play the villain's cat!!!"

Author : "But all you gotta do is purr and you'll have that huge diamond rivière around your neck, and..."

Relena : _Turning purple with anger. _"I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR DIAMONDS!!! I've thousands of diamonds at home!!! I won't be the cat!"

Zechs : "... And I'm not letting Treize fondle my sister."

Duo : "The real issue is : Would ANYBODY accept to fondle your sister..."

Zechs : _Attempts to yank at Duo's braid, but he's crushed by a very angry Noin who litterally walks on him._

Noin : "Can you explain THIS!!!" Waves a sheet of paper in front of the author.

Author : "Explain what?"

Noin : " Line 79 : 'Beebee #1 and Beebee #2, the little bees who know everything, loyal informants of the MI6...' ... And I'll try to forget the part where the "Beebees" hide in a dustbin to spy on Evil Lord Treize!!!"

Author : "So what?? I like the Beebees! Ask Zechs, I'm sure HE understands how important they are for the story!!"

Zechs : "I don't."

Author : "..." =_=;

Duo : "... Wait Noin babe! Ain't seen nuthin' yet!! Heero is the bad guy! And we're not even related!!!!!!"

Heero : "I like my role."

_Everybody frozes. Duo is silent (????!!!!), Relena stares at him blankly and all the other sweatdrop._

Heero : "What...?"

Everybody : "..." O.O;

Heero : "Omaetachi o korosu."

_They all breath a sigh of relief, now that Heero is back to normal, and resume arguing with author._

Author : "... So I decide that you two will STAY the Beebees!"

Noin : "We won't!! Zechs! Be a man!!! SAY SOMETHING!!!!"

Zechs : "Will we have to wear a bee costume?"

Author : "Yes."

Noin : "I WON'T!!!"

Author : "If you don't shut up I call you the "Weewees"!!"

Noin : "..."

_Dorothy pushes Noin out of the way and stands in front of the author, in a very ladylike manner._

Dorothy : "And what about me? I'm afraid I'm gonna have to test my fencing skills on you very soon..."

Author : "What's your problem?"

Dorothy : "I think you know..."

Author : "... It's useless, I won't change my mind! Dorothy you got to be Treize's dwarf!"

Dorothy : "NEVER!!!"

Author : "You will!!"

Dorothy : "And may I ask you why?"

Author : "Cause I need a Dwarf! There's always an evil dwarf!!" _Give Dorothy a smug grin._   
"... Besides, if you leave that fic, You won't get your chance with Quatre..."

Dorothy : "I have no chance since he hangs around with mister 'look-at-my-bangs'!!"

Author : "Well... It's a fic, you never know, I'm the author after all..."

_Quatres hides behind Trowa and his eyes become wide._

Dorothy : "... Really?! Is there still hope??!!"

Author : _Evil grin._ "... No."

_Quatre sighs, wipes off his brow and hugs Trowa._

Quatre : "Is Trowa gonna be James bond?"

Author : "Yay!"

_Quatre beams and all the others sweatdrop._

Duo : "Hey! This is unfair!"

Relena : _Sobbing. _"Heeeeeeeerrrrrrooooooooo was meant to be James Bond!!!"

Wufei : "THE INJUSTICE!!! I'm not gonna flirt with clown boy!!"

Duo :"Yeah! Tro-man can't talk!!"

Dorothy : "And that hair, my gosh! He'll have to clear it of undergrowth!"

Quatre : _On the verge of tears. _"Shut up you aaalllllll!!! Heero has no style! booooh!"

_They all look at Quatre in bewilderment._

Author : "See!! you made him cry!!"

_The author hands a tissue to Quatre who is now sobbing and sniffing soundly in Trowa shoulder._

Author : "Pfff... Trowa! Make a try!"

_Trowa : Nodding._ "My name is wa, Trowa."

_Everybody sweatdrop, the author falls in anime style, but managed to stand up._

Author : "Well... Don't worry! We'll work on it!!"

Author : "Ahem, now... IS THERE ANYBODY HERE WHO HAS NO PROBLEM AT ALL????!!!!!!"

"I'm fine with my role, thanks."

_Everybody turns to look at Treize._

Treize : "Come here, my dear..." _Pulls Wufei in a crushing embrace. Wufei tries to break free and finally manages to, when he kicks Treize in the knee with his right foot._

Treize : _Licking his lips, rubbing his knee. _"Mmmhh... Such a wild little prey!"

_Wufei sweatdrop and runs away._

Duo : "Hey! Sally and Une aren't here?"

Author : "No. Anyway, I highly doubt they would have appreciate what just happened..."

Sally and Une : _Bursting out from nowhere. _"And what exactly happened???"

Author : "Uh... You... You're... HERE??"

Sally : "Yes we are!! We were late but I feel like we just missed something!!"

Author : "Well... No... Nothing much!"

Sally : "By the way... Who wrote this *beeeep* !!! What's that stuff between Treize and my Wuffie darling!!! I'll kill the moron who wrote that *beep* *beeeeeep* "

_Everybody points to the authors, who shrinks to a size of approximatively 2 inches._

Author : "... This is gonna be hard... sob>"   


* * *

  
**_TROWA BOND WILL BE BACK IN : "THE TWINKIE IS NOT ENOUGH Part 2 - Who's gonna rule the world?"_**

**_Next time! Evil Lord Treize finds his Pygmalion!! Relena is spanked! What happened to Catherine??_**

* * *

To be continued...

* * *

THE AUTHOR'S CORNER** : **Sooo... How bad is it? Pleez read review! I wanna know if there are insane people who liked it!!

A bientôt les petits malins!   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
[][1]

   [1]: http://www.angelfire.com/anime2/moleman/fanfic.html



	2. Who's gonna rule the world??

Standard disclaimer : "Gundam Wing" isn't mine and never will be (though I wish it would !). I'm just borrowing for fun and I make no money with my insane musings.   
Anyway... Enjoy!

* * *

  


  


**_The twinky is not enough_**

A (pathetic) Gundam wing fanfiction   
**by Lil' green**

  
  


* * *

  


**Part 1 : Who's gonna rule the world??**   
(Or : Geez!! The story hasn't begun yet! will you ghuys stop fighting!)

* * *

  


**The good guys******

**Trowa : Trowa Bond**   
**Quatre : Quattie the good James Bond girl**   
**Duo : Duo Penny**   
**Hilde : Q**   
**Zechs : Beebee #1**   
**Noin : Beebee #2**   
**Catherine : The chief**   
**Sally : The prime minister**

The bad guys

Treize : Evil Lord Treize   
Wufei : Wuffie the bad James Bond girl   
Heero : THE killer   
Relena : Moumoute, Treize's cat   
Dorothy : Treize's dwarf   
Une : Treize's mysterious killer/back rubber   
Dr J : The mad scientist   
Quatre's sisters : The ultimate weapon

* * *

  


_After some more (violent) explanations, the staff is once again in the little "fanfic room" to start the story..._

The author - Well... Now that everybody is satisfied with their roles I-

Relena - NO ONE is satisfied!!!! This hasn't been discussed!! I won't be the cat!!

The author - Relena, Relena, Relenaaaa... What did I say about the naughty boys and the naughty girls who bug me about their roles? Hnnn?

Duo - I KNOW!!! You said they would be the "weewees"!

The Author - NO!! Ahem... Well.. I said that too. But what did I say LATER?

Duo - Scratches his head, frowns in concentration. Wait! I... I know it! It's... It's... You said...

Heero - That you would write them in a lemon with the gundams.

Author - Good, Heero. Here! _Throws him a sweet._

Relena - ... No! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

Author - Really?? So shut up unless you want to make out with Heavyarms!! MWWUUUAAHAH!!

Duo - You're so mean...

Treize - _Maniacal grin._ Sure.

Catherine - Noooo! I think this a very good story! I get to be the chief!

Author - Catherine? You're here? Is Hilde with you? You should have come to the staff-meeting...

Duo - Yeah, you don't know what you've missed!

Hilde - What did we miss?

Author - Uh... Nothing! Ahem... Err, Hilde?

Hilde - Yes?

Author - You've read the script, haven't you?

Hilde - Yes!

Author : And... You've... Uh, understood your role?

Hilde - Yes!!

The Author : Sure?

Hilde - Why do you keep asking??

Author : I wanted to make sure that you know that NOWHERE, in ANY James Bond movie, Q makes out with Monneypenny...

Hilde - Uh??? But... This a fanfic! You can change the story!!

The Author - I won't.

Hilde - You... YOU!! I'm sure you did it so my Duo can be defiled by that disgusting living hand-grenade!!!

Relena - Are you... ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT MY HEE-CHAAAAAAN???

Hilde - YES!!

Relena - _Lunges at Hilde but she tangles her feet in her meter-long-white-fluffy-fur-tail and ends sprawled on Treize. _Meeeaaaooooowwww!!!

Treize - Naughty, naughty kitten! _Attempts to slap Relena's rear. _Daddy treize is covered in hairs now!!! _Spits a few hairs. _White hairs on your daddy's blue uniform!!_ Lift his hand to slap again but Relena quickly turns and bite his hand. _OOOWW!!

Relena - _Running away, holding her tail to avoid stumbling again. _Ya HENTAIIIIIII!! And You... _Turns to author. _I can't believe I'm wearing a cat costume!! I'm the QUEEN OF THE WORLD!!

Hilde - No. You're Treize's pet.

Duo - Right.

_Meanwhile, Zechs silently pulls out a gun..._

- **Boom **-

Treize - _Clutching his chest theatrically._ AAAARRRRRRGGGHHHH!!!! I'm dying!! AYYYEEEEE!!! I'll soon be dead!!! I'm almost... That's it... _Convulses on the ground._ AAARRGHHHhhhhh... I'm dead.

Noin - Did you need to do all this stuff, couldn't you die silently?

Treize - _No response_ (Treize is dead, remember?)

Zechs - _Kicking Treize's dead body with his feet._ I told you not to touch my sister!

Author - Oh my god! They killed Treize! (he he he..._ snickers. _I couldn't resist!) Nooooo, seriously, Zechs! Look at what you did! You killed my villain! What am I supposed to do now!!

Noin - Stop writing this s****.

Author - Actually... No. But still, Zechs, this is so very mean!

Zechs - No one fondles the lightning baron's sister.

Relena - A-BSO-LU-TLY!!!

Duo - Not even Heero??

Relena - Well... Uh... Maybe we can...

Zechs - AND particularly NOT Heero.

Duo - Anyway, you were wrong, he didn't fondle her!

Zechs - He did.

Duo - No! _Bursting out laughing._ He spanked her!! Woooahahah!!!

Zechs - _Tries to shoot Duo in the head._ Die!

Quatre - You know Zechs... Spanking is not that bad and...

_Everybody turns to look at Quatre._ O.o;

Catherine - You disgusting creature!!! What did you do to my Trowa!!

Quatre -_ Hides behind trowa. _Uh...

Sally - I think "what did you do WITH my Trowa" would be more accurate...

Catherine - _Throws her a chair. _Shut up!!

Quatre - HE spanked Meeeee!!!

Trowa - ... -_-;

Catherine - _Turns a light shade of green, grows like a weed (more than 3 feet), starts looking bulky as her shirt and her pants are torn by her huge muscles, growls like a gorilla and throws a table (which luckily lands on Treize, who doesn't mind since he's already dead.) _RRRROOOOOOAAAAARRRR!!!!!!!!

Everybody - Omigawd!! Catherine is angry! Sally!! You made her turn into Cathy-Hulk!

Author - Sheesh!! You people can't have a normal staff meeting without dying, making out or transforming into a 8 feet high monster???

Noin - Could you PLEASE do something?? She wanna eat Quatre!

Author - That's serious! My main villain is dead, and my 1st James Bond girl is gonna be Cathy's lunch. This is time to ACT!! Fanfic Author superpower!!!__

_There's a blinding flash of light and Catherine turns into a chibi Cathy-hulk (Who's is still biting Quatre's rear.)_

Quatre - Waaaah!! Get off!! Get off!! It's stuck!! _Runs around the room with the chibi Cathy-hulk stuck to his rear by her teeth._

Duo - ... Woaw. And what about Treize??

Author - Are you trying to challenge me? Look at that!! _takes a Sailormoon pose. _Fanfic Author hyperpower!!! _Thunder can be heard (Or maybe it's Quatre who stumbled into the chairs Catherine had thrown.)_

_There's another even more blinding flash of light (Special thanks to Dorothy who makes the special effects with Sally's Pokemon-lightning-key-ring.), and a short, bald man dressed in some kind of grey medical suit bursts into the room with a white persian cat in a hand and a gun in the other. He threatens the author before trying to beat her unconscious with the cat, considering his mistake, he lays down the cat and points the gun to her head._

Author - You can't shoot me! I called you!

Dr Evil - You called me?

Author - Yeah, with my fanfic Author...

Duo - ... Hyperpower!!

Author - _Glares._ We've got a slight problem here...

Dr Evil - _Stares at the giant catgirl, the chibi hulk biting a blonde boy's rear, the wreckage of the furniture, Zechs and Heero comparing their guns and the various object flying from time to time between Duo and Relena. _... Only ONE problem??

Sally - Anyway! Comere baldie, see! Treize is dead? What can you do?

Dr Evil - BALDIE??!! _Throws his cat in Sally's face. The cat scratches her until she send it fly towards Quatre. Sounds of ripping fabric, fierce miaows and desperate screams can be heard coming from Quatre's general direction, and hair, pieces of shirt and skin flies. _You don't call me that!

Author - Keep cool! So, can you revive my villain, plllleeeezzzz??

Dr Evil - We should put him in my evil-villain-freezer, ya know, the one that always keeps me alive for the next episode!

Author - Yay!!

* * *

  
_A few hours later..._   


* * *

Duo - PFFF... MWUAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!

Heero - .. Ah ah.

Hilde - Pffff!!!

Catherine - GRRROOUUUMMMPPPFFF!!!

Sally - Oh Woaw.

Trowa - _Snickers._

Relena - I guess lady Une is gonna have a shock...

Wufei - This is true JUSTICE!!!!

Noin - It will be easier to wash...

Quatre - _(Looking as his he had been thrown in a mixer.) Covers his mouth with his hands. _Oh my god!! Mr Treize!!!

Author - It... really... Changes him...

_Treize steps out the Evil-Villain-Freezer, alive... And without a single hair left._

Dorothy - But he still has his eyebrow, That's all that matter! Eh, Mr Treize?

Treize - _Cries._

Dr Evil - _Climbs on a chair and pats him on the head. _Nah, naaah, real villains don't cry, son!

Treize - Son?? _Looks at Dr Evil's face and cries harder._

Duo - Do you want a comb for your birthday?... MWUAHAHAHAHAH! _Laughs to tears until he chokes himself with his twinky._

Dr Evil - See! See how they treat you son!! How they dishonor you, dishonor your hairdo!! But soon will be the time to take our revenge!! Those insignificant worms will shudder at the simple mention of our glorious names!!! _Takes his cat and poses with Treize. Relena and Dorothy wave sheets of paper to imitate the wind. _We'll rise again son!!! We will survive!!! _Everybody turns to Duo who stops playing with the radio. _We'll bring a new era of eternal darkness!!! We'll rule the... **Boom>**_ Falls off his chair._

Treize - You're right Daddy... WE'LL RULE THE WORLD AND NOTHING WILL STOP US!!!! MWUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!

All -_ Sweatdrop._

* * *

  
**_TROWA BOND WILL BE BACK IN : "THE TWINKIE IS NOT ENOUGH Part 3 - Who can stop poppa baldie and Evil Lord Treize?"_**

**_Next time! Treize steals the utimate weapon!! And he buys himself a cap!!_**

* * *

To be continued...

* * *

THE AUTHOR'S CORNER** :**   
Well... This is probably the stupidest fic I've ever written!!   
Anyway, pease read and review! I haven't finished part 3 yet, but if it's not worth my time (and yours), tell me!

Au revoir les p'tits malins!   
  
  
  
  
  



	3. Who can stop Poppa Baldie and Evil Lord ...

Standard disclaimer : "Gundam Wing" isn't mine and never will be (though I wish it would !). I'm just borrowing for fun and I make no money with my insane musings.   
Anyway... Enjoy!

* * *

  
  
  
  


**_ The twinky is not enough_**

A (pathetic) Gundam wing fanfiction   
**by Lil' green**

  
  
  
  


* * *

**Part 3 : Who can stop Poppa baldie and Evil Lord Treize??**   
(Currently nobody...)

* * *

  


**The good guys**

**Trowa : Trowa Bond**   
**Quatre : Quattie the good James Bond girl**   
**Duo : Duo Penny**   
**Hilde : Q**   
**Zechs : Beebee #1**   
**Noin : Beebee #2**   
**Catherine : The chief**   
**Sally : The prime minister**

The bad guys

Treize : Evil Lord Treize   
Wufei : Wuffie the bad James Bond girl   
Heero : THE killer   
Relena : Moumoute, Treize's cat   
Dorothy : Treize's dwarf   
Une : Treize's mysterious killer/back rubber   
Dr J : The mad scientist   
Quatre's sisters : The ultimate weapon

* * *

  


_Do you remember what happened last time? Evil Lord Treize and Dr Evil have decided to rule the world!! And they've kidnapped the super-kawai Quattie! All they need now is the ultimate weapon!! Will Trowa Bond save her??_

Wufei - What's that stuff? When did they kidnap Quattie? You didn't mention it before!

Author - Shut up! I 'm trying to write my story! I do as I want!!

Duo - Ya know... He's kinda right! It doesn't make sense, They haven't even kidnapped him... Uh, HER, yet! Besides... Well, Quattie is not so kawai since Dr Baldie's cat scratched hi... her face!

Lady Une - Why do they need Quattie to rule the world?

Author - Uh! You're here too? Ahem, they need Quattie to trap Trowa Bond!!

Duo - But... Why would he go and save her, he hasn't met her yet!

Author - _Slightly angry. _Be... Because he knows she's pretty! She is the James Bond girl!

Duo - Buuuut... Quattie is not pretty anymore! He... She looks like a strawberry!

Author - NO SHE DOESN'T!!!

Lady Une - Still... They haven't kidnapped the strawberry yet.

Author - F***!!! _Lifts her hands._ See!! See my fanfic Author...

Duo - Hyperpower!!!

Author - _Shoots Duo._ Silence!!! As I was saying... See my- Nevermind! Action!! _The usual blinding flash of light, and a bunch of villains appears, all dressed in black and all wearing big guns and all._

Villain#1 - MWUAHAHAH!! You're coming with us pretty g... _Stares at Quattie attentively. _Uh... Tomato cake!!!

Villain#2 - _Turns to the author._ Uh... I thought we were supposed to kidnap a beautiful young girl! It's written in the script!!

Villlain#3 - _Wrapping Quattie in a giant black plastic bag._ Yes... And do we take the small green thing with us??

Author - NO!! Catherine is the chief! She'll soon be back to normal!

Villain#2 - Height or color?

Author - -_-; ... Both.

Villain#1 - Villain#3!! Look at what you're doin' She... Uh, He... IT can't breath!! Make a howl in the plastic bag!

Villain#3 - But it will escape!

Villain#1 - Just do a small hole so it doesn't die, it doesn't need to be comfortable, we're the villains after all!! MWUAHAHAAAAAHAHAAH... Ahem. Let's go before somebody sees us.

Duo - We ALL saw you, ya know.

Villain#1 - It was written in the script. Can we take the THING now??

Author - Uh... OK! Eeeep!!! Nooo!! Wait! I forgot something!! _Takes a Sailormoon pose and waves her hand. The plastic bag starts to glow and move of its own volition, then falls with an audible "THUD"._

Quatre - OWWW!! What the f... Uh, flower... Is going on!! _He (She, it, the THING...) Tores the plastic bag and then... Everybody is mesmerized by the sight of an absolutly kawai bishounen with shimmering blonde hair, a fair skin, high heeled shoes that make him walks as if he were drunk (But we don't care!) and a dress... Uh... Can you figure Jessica Rabbit? Well, the same without the bosom._

Author - Sooo... How do you find my strawberry??

Villain#2 - _Drools. _Will you please follow me my Lady?

Quatre - But... Aren't you the bad guys??

Villain#1 - _Tapping his foot on the ground. _Yes. Can we go know? You're not the only babe we have to kidnap today!! And I don't wanna stay stuck in a traffic jam!Beats Quattie unconscious and runs away.

Sally - _Waves her hand. _Bye!!

Lady Une - Uh... Did we just let them kidnap Quattie??

Author - Yes. MY STORY CAN BEGIN!!! YAY!!!

* * *

_The setting is the MI6 headquarters, Duo Penny is typing feverishly on her computer and applying her lips a hundredth layer of red lipstick at the same time... (NDLR : How many hands does she have??)_

Trowa Bond - _Bursts in the small office, throws a bouquet of red roses which lands right in Duo Penny's face, throws his hat and his coat and immediatly runs towards M's office._   
Hh... llo.

Duo Penny - _Tries to remove the roses stuck to her "mushroom" hairdo. _Shit!! Trowaa! Some Mother f****** wanna rule the world and kidnapped a blondie!! Hey you sucker!! I'm talkin' to you!! D'ya think I'm gonna pick up your mess!!

* * *

Author - Sooo... Who can explain me why this scene was a complete failure??

All - _Silence._

Author - Have you ever seen a James Bond??

All - _Silence._

Author - OK... TROWA!! You're supposed to be a gentleman, to flirt with Duo Penny and OFFER her the roses, I didn't write 'kill' her with the roses!!!   
DUO!! Duo Penny DOESN'T SWEAR!! And if Trowa bond's coat falls, she picks it up!!

Duo - No Way!! It didn't fall! He did it on purpose!!

Author - _Ultimate-long-and-painful-death-glare__TM._

Duo - ...

Author - Once again!! And this time, Trowa, you FLIRT!!

*****

Trowa Bond - _Bursts in the small office, tosses the roses, the hat and the coat aside, lunges at Duo Penny, pins her on her desk and starts a steamy make out session._

Duo Penny - _In a high pitched voice. _Mr Bond!!

* * *

Author - _Sipping a Vodka. _Uh... OK. Trowa... Haven't I made myself clear? I said FFFFFFFLLLLLLIIIIIIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRRRRTTTTT!!!!

Trowa - I did.

Author - That wasn't flirt, that was a LEMON!!

Duo - And a good one at that!!

Author - Duo... Be careful... And you!! Can't you flirt the way you flirt with Quatre?!

Trowa - We never flirt.__

All _- Sweatdrop._

Author - And why is that??

Trowa - Flirts requires too many words.

Author - I give up... Play it as you feel guys! I'm gonna hang myself!

* * *

  
_Later, in M's office..._   


* * *

Catherine - _She isn't green anymore but she's still a chibi. She sits on her organizer and rolls herself a cigarette with a stamp. _Sit down 003. We have a crucial mission for you.

The prime minister - Yeah, kid. Sit and open your ears!! Evil Lord Treize and his pals plan to steal the ultimate weapon soon! And we don't even know what it is!!

Trowa - _Falls. _How am I supposed to stop him when you don't even know what you're looking for!!!

Catherine - _Wobbles her head a bit as she's smocking her cannabis-stamp. _That's your mission, lil' bro! Find out what Poppa baldie is up to, blow up stuff and co...me BACK!! _Falls on her desk. The prime minister picks her up and dips her in a glass of scotch to wake her up._

_As the prime minister is practising CPR on M, Trowa leaves for Q's section..._

Q - Hiya 003!! Watcha doin' here?!

Trowa - Aren't you supposed to give me cool gadgets?

Q - Only if you obtain me a date with Duo Penny!

Trowa - The author said NO.

Q - I don't care!!! You better think twice if you don't wanna save the world by bus! No date, NO CAR!!

Trowa - I think we can come to an arrangement.

Q - That's better! So, look at that! You think it's a plain ordinary Bacon-mayonnaise sandwich??

Trowa - With lettuce.

Q - It's NOT!!

Trowa - I knew it!

Q - This our latest mobile-phone/PC/pocket-hair-dryer!!! See, you can even send faxes, and receive the answer on the lettuce!!

Trowa - ... What's the use?

Q - You moron!! This is totally cautious!!

Trowa - A sandwich with an antenna?

Q - Pfff! Let's have a look at your new car instead! _Gestures towards a sheet covered vehicle. She pulls on the sheets and takes a pose. _TADA!!!

Trowa - It's quite OK.

Q - _Jumps around. _OK!!! you're kidding me!! This the new gundanium Aston Martin!! We added a flame thrower in the glove box and there's a brand new rocket launching system!! This car is pure artwork!!

Trowa - Whatever... How large is the backseat?

Q - ... >_;

* * *

  
_Meanwhile... At the winner estate..._   


* * *

_Heero and Dorothy are hidden in small bush, waiting for the right time to complete their mission..._

Dorothy - _Hops, hops, hops._ Can you see them?

Heero - Not yet.

Dorothy - Couldn't we just kill one or two?? There are so many of them!!

Heero - No. Our mission is : capture the 29 sisters.

Dorothy - _Hops, hops, hops._ I can't see a thing!!

Heero - Target acquired.

Dorothy - Lemme see! _Climbs on top of Heero's head. _Jesus!! Heero! It can't be! Is it... Is it a dandruff I see here???

Heero - Omae wa korosu.

Dorothy - Yeah... right! Anyway, have you heard about that cool shampoo : "Head on shoulders"??

Heero - Oma...

Dorothy - OK... OK... Well! The sisters are in the garden for a collective tan session. Let's go Heero! GOTTA CATCH THEM ALL!

* * *

  
3 hrs later...   


* * *

_Dorothy and Heero are hidden behind a tree, Dorothy is clutching a twine, which is linked to a cage, hoving silently a few meters over a pink cross painted on the grass, in the middle of the cross is lying a Chanel lipstick._

Dorothy - Alright! This the last one! We can't miss her!!

_The prey approaches the lipstick and holds out her hand to take it, but it's too far... Unable to resist, the 29th prey approaches a little bit more, and, this time takes the tempting object... She grins in victory until the cage falls._

Heero - Mission accomplished.

Dorothy - The last sheep is TRAPPED!!

_Dorothy and Heero load the cargo in their big-black-villain-truck and drive towards Evil Lord Treize's underlair ground..._

* * *

  
_At Treize's underlair ground._   


* * *

Evil Lord Treize - WOAW!!! You brought my ultimate weapon!!__

Dorothy -_ Bows, licks his shoes. _We also bought you this!! Hands him a black cap.__

Evil Lord Treize - _Pales._ What is it...?

Heero - It's a...

Evil Lord Treize - I KNOW WHAT IT IS!!!! THANKS!!__

Wuffie - BWUAHAHAHAAAHAH!!!_ Sprawls herself on the floor, laughing. _Take your hat "son"!!!__

Dr Evil - Moumoute! Attack!!__

_Relena lunges at Wuffie and tries to scratch her face, but she misses and falls in the piranha-sharks-and-biting-stuff-for-traitors-and-weaklings pool.___

Relena - MEAOWWWW!!!__

Evil Lord Treize - Wuffie! You're very mean with your daddy Treize!!__

Wuffie - Are we all your children?! You big perv'!! Stay away!!

Dorothy - _Bites her leg. _Respect Lord Treize!!!__

Dr Evil - _Looks at Relena who manages to get out of the pool, but who currently looks like a Gremlin or something. _You know, son, I think your cat is hum... err... Do you want me to find you a better one??

Evil Lord Treize - No! Why??   
__

* * *

  
**_TROWA BOND WILL BE BACK IN : "THE TWINKIE IS NOT ENOUGH Part 4 - "The dwarf who bit me"_**

**_Next time! The final confrontation is near!!_**

* * *

To be continued...

* * *

THE AUTHOR'S CORNER** : **So! Should I go on?? R&R! And maybe you get to see part 4... MWUAHAHAH!!!

A bientôt les petits malins!   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
